Friday, August 17, 2007


That's what the universe seems to be saying.

After that long rant the other day and and a minor catharsis last night, David and I seem to be leaning toward abandoning the biological child cause. Not immediately, but soon. We're both in the same place - actually, I'm very lucky in that he's supportive of whatever direction I happen to be leaning on any given day but, overall, he's very content to raise an only child. So we talked about all of that, and how nice it could be, and how many ridiculous obstacles we've had in the last year, and what a great option adoption of an older child is if we decide later on that we want to grow the family.

We had been planning to attend a party of sorts in a couple of months. The state adoption agency holds these periodically to allow prospective parents a chance to gather information and get to know some of the older children who need homes. We weren't going to find a child as much as we were going to see how the whole thing felt to us. It's in October and I've really been looking forward to it.

After David and I talked I figured it was time to put it into iCal. Before I did, I asked David, "When is that work thing you're going to in California?" Yeah. That's right. He leaves the day before.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I did both.


Arizaphale said...

Just checking in to see if you're ok!
Well, I guess there may be a message here for you from the Universe. 'Forgeddaboudit', as they say in the movies, for awhile.
Sometimes these things that appear to be setbacks, are actually purposeful events preparing us for the next phase in our lives. Laugh, cry, by all means and remember you're in a tunnel at the moment but when you come out of it everything will become clear. Think of this process, this time, as if it were a rollercoaster ride in the dark. Relax and go with the flow until you're out the other side.
Reading back over this, I don't think I've made myself clear and its probably not very helpful but just know that we're listening and thinking of you. Live in the moment. Hugs.

Merrily Rolling said...

You're so sweet to check in on me. If I had time for a post I'd say this: I'm doing fine, I've changed my mind about everything all over again, but the thermometer is still tucked away in the nightstand drawer.

I completely agree with you that this is a tunnel and the purpose will one day be clear. But damn, this tunnel is frustrating!

Thanks again for your sweet words. They mean a lot.

Anna said...

Hard to know what is meant to be when you conflicting signals from the universe, for sure!

Hope these ups and downs will seem smaller from a distance, SOON.